Well, I did my thing today. Voted. And then I did my other thing. Obsess. I said I wouldn't. I said I wouldn't sit and watch the news or hover over the computer wondering who was winning and who was losing and getting hopes up and dashed and up and dashed as the exit polls try to predict the outcome with about as much accuracy as those late night tv psychics. I mean, they have a 50/50 shot at getting it right, but nothing is final until the last votes are counted or until one candidate or the other cedes the race.
I just can't help myself. I hate change. So I quietly panic until I see how things will go. I just hope whatever happens that things will start to look up for this country.
Other than that...went shopping today. Great sales. Fun stuff. Daddy bought dinner for me and the kids. Husband felt well enough to go to work. I am tired, and no closer to my answers than I was yesterday. But I feel sure I will blog later tonight as the election draws to a close.
For now I am hoping I can rest easy in the knowledge that things are out of my hands.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
God Bless America?
True to form, I obsessively post a blog mere hours after the first. When I find a new outlet, I must abuse it immediately. 2:30 am, and I'm thinking about the election tomorrow. I always fear change, so however thoroughly Bush has messed things up in the last few months, he's predictably stupid - and therefore preferable to either candidate. Which, sort of, my dog would be preferable to either candidate. But that's another story.
I was praying about the election today. I know who I'm voting for. But my prayers lie in a different direction. I am praying that the best man will win. Not the one I like the most or the one who goes with my values. I want the man who will do the best for America. Don't mistake me - I'm not what you'd call patriotic. I am glad to be American and all, but that's about as deep as the red, white and blue run in my veins. But I know that we're in an uncertain place right now, and we need the right leader. I am not sure in myself that McCain or Obama is that leader...but this comes down to whether I trust God.
So I put it in His hands, and let it go. In a few hours I will go down to the polls and cast my vote. Then I will sit back and relax in the knowledge that God heard me and all things will work together for the best.
I was praying about the election today. I know who I'm voting for. But my prayers lie in a different direction. I am praying that the best man will win. Not the one I like the most or the one who goes with my values. I want the man who will do the best for America. Don't mistake me - I'm not what you'd call patriotic. I am glad to be American and all, but that's about as deep as the red, white and blue run in my veins. But I know that we're in an uncertain place right now, and we need the right leader. I am not sure in myself that McCain or Obama is that leader...but this comes down to whether I trust God.
So I put it in His hands, and let it go. In a few hours I will go down to the polls and cast my vote. Then I will sit back and relax in the knowledge that God heard me and all things will work together for the best.
Monday, November 3, 2008
I always hate the "first" blog. When I would get a new journal, it was wonderful. I would have grand hopes for those new, white, blank pages. I would think giddily of the potential of this blank canvas for my thoughts. Why is it different for a blog? Maybe because there is no clear end in sight like with a journal? Maybe because I just hop right in with a journal because I knew they were my private thoughts, and with a blog, I know that it's there for anyone who wants to see - so I think I owe the web at large an explanation? Whatever the reason, it feels different.
This blog especially is different because I already have a blog. I just needed somewhere new...to formulate my thoughts.
So I was watching this rerun of Extreme Makeover Home Edition. They were doing this home for this woman named "Sweet Alice" or something. She lives in this place near LA where it's supposed to be a scary neighborhood. She's like an urban Mother Theresa. She feeds homeless people every day - not a soup kitchen, she feeds them from her kitchen. 20 to 40 people eat her food every day. On holidays she feeds hundreds. Christmas she gives toys to thousands. And this flood came and ruined her house. she's feeding all these people, and her own daughter is living across the street because the house is in such bad shape from the flood.
Long hour of tv short, this lady really gave me a slap in the face. When they gave her the new house and she was looking at it, it was not - wow, look at this incredible thing they've done for me! it was, WOW. Look at all the good I can do with this place...because that's what life is all about, isn't it?
And it made me think, again, what am I doing with myself? What am I doing for others? What am I doing for God? I am just living. Day after wasted day, counting my worth with loads of laundry washed and diapers changed. What am I doing? For what purpose do I exist?
This blog especially is different because I already have a blog. I just needed somewhere new...to formulate my thoughts.
So I was watching this rerun of Extreme Makeover Home Edition. They were doing this home for this woman named "Sweet Alice" or something. She lives in this place near LA where it's supposed to be a scary neighborhood. She's like an urban Mother Theresa. She feeds homeless people every day - not a soup kitchen, she feeds them from her kitchen. 20 to 40 people eat her food every day. On holidays she feeds hundreds. Christmas she gives toys to thousands. And this flood came and ruined her house. she's feeding all these people, and her own daughter is living across the street because the house is in such bad shape from the flood.
Long hour of tv short, this lady really gave me a slap in the face. When they gave her the new house and she was looking at it, it was not - wow, look at this incredible thing they've done for me! it was, WOW. Look at all the good I can do with this place...because that's what life is all about, isn't it?
And it made me think, again, what am I doing with myself? What am I doing for others? What am I doing for God? I am just living. Day after wasted day, counting my worth with loads of laundry washed and diapers changed. What am I doing? For what purpose do I exist?
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